War Hero in my Family

There's a new series starting on Channel 5 on Tuesday 1st May - War Hero in my Family - not to be missed. And I'm not saying that because I'm in it - but because it reveals compelling stories that should not be forgotten - but as the programme highlights 'How can we remember - if we were never told'. There are secrets in every family that come out when Channel 5 do the research as I can now testify!

I was cool about being invited to take part in War Hero in my Family as our family have not spoken about the painful memories that WW2 holds for them but there is crying. Soz.

I was able to see first hand the horrors of the concentration camps and with great sensitivity by the director of the programme, Serena Davies, I was steered toward discovering a cousin who is not only still alive but whom I have visited again and who I now have as part of my family. I have just sent him a dvd about liverpool and Bolton football teams. Together we can piece together what happened to my Father and Grandfather when he came to England and more amazingly still over how he played his part in the war by incriminating captured SS officers for trial at Nuremberg.

My programme goes out on 15th May but don't miss the first episode on Tuesday 1st May in which Chris Tarrant and Lisa Faulkner set off on an emotional journey to discover more about the role their family members played in WW2. I don't know their stories yet. I've only seen the trailer: http://www.channel5.com/shows/war-hero-in-my-family/clips/series-trailer but from my own experience of being involved in the series I know it will be a must see. I'm going to find it hard - I know - but I'm going to watch.

For a further taster : http://www.express.co.uk/features/view/316906/Our-family-war-heroes

What's On

What's On? I'm on. That's wot. With Scott.

 I've been invited by the fragrant Scott Capurro to be there or be squarer than if you said square. New venue 'Soho Downstairs' - that's at The Soho Theatre - their new cabaret venue, but doesn't it sound so, well 'downstairs'? More below mezzanine.

Anyway, in haste, as having to buy biscuits to hand round in case no time for gag prep - will have done the papers though for Sky so maybe I'll go for some James Murdoch hair gel material. Here's the link http://sohotheatre.com/whats-on/scott-capurros-position/ for you to take a look. It's on tonight and on tomorrow (I'm on tomorrow ;) Enjoy!

Several outings serviced by the same black jacket

Here’s me with ‘newspaper story selection’ envy – checking out which story lovely Stuart Miles was putting across in a light but informed manner as befits appearing as a guest on Sunrise on Sky at the weekend with gorgeous Stephen Dixon.

Everyone was so relaxed you’d think I hadn’t just been woken up at 4.25 am to be reassured by the car firm that a car would indeed be collecting me at 6 am –that’s in ONE AND A HALF HOURS TIME - leaving me with one and a half hours to process this very advanced car arrival information.

My FAVE story was the one where the female producer of Miriam O'Reilly (the woman who allegedly took The BBC to court over the delicate subject of roots and other words not a million miles from botox)... wrote a two page spread with a differing view. I love using the word ‘complexities’ for this kind of debate.

And here’s that black jacket coming out again at The CHORTLE Comedy Awards.

This time the jacket is teamed with a vest including a loose thread – this same ensemble has accompanied me to 3 award jobs in the same week – it's only until I loose the weight –(after Easter and very possibly some of the summer ) then I can morph into the 'stripey with lacey' Stella McCartney over the 'vest under jacket under blouse' ensemble. I gave an award to ‘best club comic’. He wasn’t there. A nice man claimed it. I kissed him. Hattie Hayridge danced round her handbag until her ankle broke. Annoying. More for her than me. Have offered to rally with some groceries but her cupboard is stocked, I’m told.

Another outing for the black jacket at a Water Aid event at the Festival Hall with JP Morgan people who had raised money. My job was to make the odd joke (not too odd, they were bankers) but a heavenly evening. The prize for the fittest employee was a decanter shaped like a pair of buttocks. Joy. I felt both parties.

Latest outings this week

This is me trying to hold my note in a descant with a nice nun with hairy arms (aka Sister Mary Macarthur at her chat show)   http://www.rvt.org.uk/event/sister-mary-mcarthur-2 

This finds me a touch concerned that fellow guest witty Wincey Willis is mistaking her microphone for a rabbit. Paul Phear from Magic Radio is trying to cover. What a nice man.

The same day of this gig - I had a team of specialists round to do a piece for Mail On Sunday this week - on the theme of ‘dysfunctional mother and daughter’. I was thrilled to be selected! Not only did we get a free make-over from a lovely make up man but we met a bright young journalist. She was more than able to tease out the dysfunctional past of our scary food eating and weird relationship. Hannah and I have stoically developed over our years as a singularly aspiring dysfunctional family unit. Heaven!

We made a cake for Les, the cameraman, and the journalist, Holly, bravely bit in to a half cooked batter with mushy strawberry. Game gal. The photos for tomorrow’s article won’t show they had loose fermenting batter within, will they?

Omiword, I am doing this gig on Friday.

Luckily I wavered a fee in order to toy with the luxury of not being prepared and one hundred percent ‘impromptu’.  I met David Mills with Scott Capuro in Edinburgh and experienced their heady mix of humour when they asked me why I was wearing corrective shoes. I found this funny.

I may venture into experimental psychometric personality testing . Wonder if Jackie Mason's doing that?

http://www.thehospitalclub.com/events/view/24-02-12-dinner-ticket-the-in-crowd-cabaret-with-david-mills

CURRENT AFFAIRS
Last Wednesday I was tending my own computer screen when I got the call. It was from BBC Newsnight. I didn’t pick up. Then I was too tempted so I rang back. Would I come on and talk about how society is sick to its bones with drunk people and could I discuss this with a public heath authority …?

Earlier in the evening I drank 9 diet cokes with two female producers who are taking me to Prague for a big dramatic TV programme that I can’t talk about yet (partly because we haven’t gone yet and there isn’t much to report). I drove to TV centre. Lee from the Blockheads hopped in to act as human sat nav kindly.

This photo was taken in the make up room:

https://twitter.com/#!/The_Blockheads/status/169902111545491456/photo/1

Lee has played music with Gavin’s musician wife. Gavin and Lee had a nice enthusiastic chat while I had my foundation put on and pondered the scare mongering and truthful drunkenness statistics versus unemployment figures and wondered would I in any way make a salient point.

Then I made my debut. Later I got tweeted by a man who observed it was like watching Katie Price. Not in bank balance – but in looks? Certainly. Well observed

So this Friday then, I maybe doing humorous psychometric testing? Coming?
You can get your tea there as well I’m told. 8pm

Cabaret Time

This is the quietest month ever. Even the geek next door is playing his questionable music at a lower pelt. What to do?
Take youth pills, get extra strong coffee, stay on the cross trainer for longer than 15 minutes. (A good sixteen - and I felt ready to tackle the walk to the car).

So having held a clothes sale in house – with a friend who can charge more than me and keep a straight face for a ‘well loved’ pashmina (with bobbles) - I agreed to pop on to that sofa at Breakfast TV to talk about ANOTHER finding from the government about drinking. This time saying two days off is good.
(The message was the same two weeks ago when I went on to say it then – but possibly some people didn’t see me say it .)

Anyway, I do love an early start i.e.  the prospect of sitting close to Charlie Stayt. I make one joke - My doctor asked me ‘Do you drink to excess?’ ‘No,’ I replied. ‘I drink to anything.’ (hilarious for 7.30 am).  This was met with a concerned tweet that I wasn't doing myself any favours. I beg to differ. A small remuneration in these hard times is better than a poke. I apologised to the worried tweeter and thanked her for her interest. Perhaps she’d like to come and see me in this? I’m branching in to psychometric testing as a comedic art form. I’d be glad of her (and your) feed back. Coming?

To book here's a link http://www.thehospitalclub.co.uk/events/view/24-02-12-standard-ticket-the-in-crowd-cabaret-with-david-mills or you can phone 020 7170 9100.

See you there!

Quick Reads

So here am I doing a quick few words thanking my family, my agent , my double gusset support wear - na only kidding. Here some pics from this week’s launch of the Quick Reads series at the Senedd in Cardiff. Proper posh government do with nice sandwiches

Here is very important Minister for Skills, Jeff Cuthbert. He lent me his specs as I forgot mine. I luvs him.

and here we are supporting the heart. He is holding my book which was more than gallant so I let him have a gratis copy. For you it's £1.99

And here I am with a lovely Miss Wales, Courtenay Hamilton, who is holding her own

http://www.walesonline.co.uk/cardiffonline/cardiff-news/2012/01/26/actress-helen-lederer-helps-launch-short-books-for-adult-literacy-campaign-91466-30200625/

After the launch I was interviewed by the wonderful Roy Noble on BBC Radio Wales. Here we are swapping our lovely books.

The Roy Noble show http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0079fxq - My interview is in the last hour of the show.