The St James Theatre asked me back to do two more nights on November 7th and November 28th.

Naturally I was flattered, so I said ‘yes’ but not having the personnel of most modern comedians – (agent, manager, carer, driver and product provider) I’ve been drawn to crowd funding. If it works, I might be asking you to crowd fund me a modest flat in Byranston Square as well - but for now it’s just for the show thanks

http://www.stjamestheatre.co.uk/events/helen-lederer-wtf/

I’ve got wonderful Suzanne Moore and Yasmin Alibhai-Brown on 7th Nov. Beyond excited.

I was sent a ‘mind map’ to explain the crowd funding ethos which triggered a dizzy spell. http://bloomvc.com/project/Helen-Lederer-WTF Before saying ‘yes’ to this excitement I resumed my role as Miss Bowline-Hitch for CBeebies with Bernard Cribbins playing the man.

Also played a cameo (more than five lines, less than 5000) on a trendy film called ‘Chicken’ directed by Joe Stephenson

Talented actor, Scott Chambers, being bloodied up

And another cameo in Channel 4’s Hollyoaks which is out Monday Oct 21. It’s a very controversial storyline so simply mustn’t speak of it. I can share this pic though but don’t show it to anyone in case I get sent to Coventry for boasting

With lovely Alex Fletcher

Been having subsidence, so builders were in banging a lot – they found my testosterone gel in the fridge (it goes off once you’ve opened it) – Thankfully didn’t squeeze it over their lunch baps.

You had to be there

Bought in a flea market. yeah well…

Back from a Parador in Spain.  Paradors are posh, state-run suntraps for slightly older people.  Camped on a day bed which was not overlooked (except by seagulls who reluctantly allowed me to share their communal toilet area) and decided nudey sunbathing with no speaking to be the perfect antidote after mounting the wtf show, which I’m told will now find a place in Edinburgh! Gawd. The last time I took part in The Edinburgh festival I cried. But then, I always cry in Edinburgh, be it from a review or from thrush – it’s a toxic place - aw memory lane….

The Seagull

Just saw a bit of press about my show: I loved my two guests, Michael Crick and Mark Lawson, with a passion and found them to be two charming and dedicated individuals – so I do hope the attendant press coverage didn’t offend them. I am red from embarrassment. Witty and clever people like these make witty and clever conversations, visiting the joke format with repartee, complicit exaggeration, rhetoric, sarcasm, irony and brilliant humility - which is why I was so lucky to have Michael and Mark – any quote taken out of this context is ... Well it's like explaining to your granny that wearing a tee shirt stating ‘shit happens’ isn’t swearing – but some newspapers refuse to attend the same party.

Am choosing to see the off field coverage as a punctuation point about column inches rather than on site reportage (she said rhetorically)

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/londoners-diary/mark-lawson-and-michael-cricks-old-spat-comes-to-light-8652217.html

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/londoners-diary/michael-cricks-gaffe-loses-friends--and-influence-8649523.html

This says it in a far more accurate manner

http://www.stjamestheatre.co.uk/2013/06/a-review-of-helen-lederers-w-t-f/

Am turning into a slight politico journo groupie: slight shame I wore the wrong bra but there’s so much to think about - under wiring bust dressage is the last thing to get right on the day of a gig. This pic would not look out of place in The National Portrait Gallery – and I have told them this.

 

Michael Crick and Mark Lawson smiling lightly

Here I am with M and M looking a touch like Jenni Murray in blonde wig – but oh how I enjoyed. 

My band became like my sons (only more attractive) and my guests became projections of all the bright clever males I’ve ever wanted to do stuff with. The words in the song of the great Victoria  Wood weirdly came into my head as we were discussing creationism  ‘bend me over backwards with the hostess trolley’

 

I don’t think anyone else is doing this kind of work? – If there is a gap in the market my girth is more than ample to fill it

Writer will be away for a few days not drinking or eating white bread due to shocking over reveal of some of the show photos - not included here   

First WTF Show

First WTF show – It did the biz http://www.stjamestheatre.co.uk/events/helen-lederer-asks-wtf/

Huge anticipation about stepping out on stage after a moribund period of activities including hypnosis, eating and not buying clothes. Would I make a mistake?

Yes. but the shiny DB COHEN house band more than made up for it with three male horns, gorgeous drummer, enigmatic guitarist and lead songwriter Dan Cohen - I felt I was at Glastonbury with wedges.

Mark Lawson turned out to be a winning guest - by affording serious consideration to my highly researched questions – would he marry an Eskimo for instance? Which I felt raised the bar. Mark is coming back by popular demand on June 6th. Tom Daley would have joined and sends his love but is revising. Alan Yentob sends his apologies but is travelling and Suzanne Moore could only do it earlier damn damn. But watch this space – a third guest chair is being wiped in readiness.

I did this gig for water aid in Harrogate –( Helen Lederer, speaking on behalf of WaterAid - YouTube WaterAid works specifically on the WASH crisis: water, sanitation and hygiene. Their vision is of ... www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0Fr6ZOhVWo ) and having looked at the footage I seem to be all hair and glasses –with a few jokes – but hey …I love Water Aid. And I got given a paperweight.

Have popped up in Psychologies Magazine and have revealed a teasing swimwear preview.

Hannah in Some Girls (BBC3)

Took advantage of my girl being away filming Some Girls BBC 3 (jealous not proud) to clean her very small bathroom with moistened wipes then I felt guilty and put some rubbish back in the fragrantly lined mini bin.

Back to WTF...Some clean theatre seats have been bought by kind strangers already - it’s a small theatre so you might want to book. It’s June 6 Your call.
For tickets: http://www.stjamestheatre.co.uk/events/helen-lederer-asks-wtf/

No turning back

The new try out show is nigh

http://www.stjamestheatre.co.uk/events/helen-lederer-asks-wtf/

It’s going to happen this Thursday. A few windows of public display behaviour have been afforded: here I am nursing my home-made cushion in the “Sunday Express afternoon trivia” section.  I decided to come out about the cushion sublimating interest - which fortunately is very apposite to the show – since WTF  tries to nail what is meaningful. Excited? (There will be a joke at the top of the show as well)   

Great excitement at Channel 4’s ‘What’s Cooking?’ on Friday.    

Deep  gossip in Green Room with hot actor Sean Maguire – the more you talk to him the more you realise he’s done amazing stuff only he doesn’t say it in the first few secs.  Just about managed to hold back giving him my card and asking him to do a  swapsie with his agent's details in LA. (But only just) Emma Kennedy is a heroine - clever funny with a nice skirt – while being tasked with creating an emergency meal in ten minutes (as oft happens.) Her emergency sandwich got my maximum vote, which I’m pleased to report pushed her to the top of the leader board. Top Gear with garlic.

whatscookingtv What's Cooking? 3 May

Thanks for lunch! @HelenLederer @Sean_M_Maguire @EmmaK67 @TheoRandall @BenShephard @LisaFaulkner1 #WhatsCooking pic.twitter.com/jgWm4a8F4C

Details

It’s been confirmed Mark Lawson is my First Guest on Thursday 9^th  - Omyword. I have bought a proud blue plastic clipboard out of respect. Gravitas is needed with such an intellect.

Didn’t manage to loose the two stone I’d planned for the first stage appearance due to a sudden sandwich surge during rehearsals – so will not be sporting the Joan Rivers diamante comedy silhouette. (Keeping it real)   DB COHEN are my new house band (not husband) yet. Top sound 

https://soundcloud.com/dancohen

See you on Thurs 9^th or if you have something on that night - there’s June 6^th  

Youtube link: http://www.youtube.com/user/helenledererrtv

      

Slightly heightened time so must share.

Writing the new WTF? show and asking followers to contribute their view as to what is the point of life - so I can reflect a true barometer of passion. http://ow.ly/jjz86 Followers have been generous with revelations about what is meaningful - so far the majority have cited their children and husband so while I try not to look too surprised at this laudable display of meaning, I’m keeping back my own passion – cushions - for the show.  Sorry so very sorry.

Scoured the TV version of Comic Relief does the Great British Banquet and for a nano second caught this smiley chubbed-up face on camera – eating and not talking with mouth full which was perhaps
for the best

In a fleeting pic at the Comic Relief Great British Banquet

And now to the most exciting reveal: MY SWIM WEAR RANGE (I KNOW!)  For those who wish to hide the tum tum and nether area with lace trim and discreet netting I AM YOUR WOMAN

Here is an exciting preview –I actually felt the burn when my silver, and lace and ELASTIC all came together in one glorious hugga-body-cossie You saw it here - from a woman who truly knows what it’s like to have a camera up her Jacksie on a diving board. I said to the camera man, ‘I don’t want any beaver shot!”  He replied, ‘None will be.’

Why The Fuss?

stop press

'A miracle of comic compression and control' - Tony Patrick,  The Times

UK Favourite, HELEN LEDERER, is to return to the London stage to host two new shows called

 on May 9th and 6th June at the St James Theatre, 12 Palace Street, London, SW1E 5JA.

 In these new shows, Helen is determined to tease out the meaning of life with the help of an eminent guest and the undoubted intelligence of the audience.

She asks: What is happiness? Is there a point? What’s better, laughter or sex, and does anyone use side-plates anymore?

In an ideal world, such noteworthy heavyweights as Mary Beard, Jeremy Clarkson, Kevin McCloud, Chris Evans, Gareth Malone or Gok Wan will be joining her on stage. And if not. Helen promises to offer up someone else famous. Either way WTF? promises to be a pleasurable journey and one that Darwin would be sad to miss.

ST. JAMES THEATRE

12 Palace Street, London, SW1E 5JA

 The theatre is a 5 minute walk from Victoria tube station.

 T. 0844 264 2140   E. info@stjamestheatre.co.uk

 http://www.stjamestheatre.co.uk/events/helen-lederer-asks-wtf/

FOR FURTHER INFORMATION CONTACT MELANIE FALDO AT KEITH BISHOP ASSOCIATES 0207 734 9995 OR 07956 657227 melanie@keithbishopassociates.com

To book Helen’s show on either Thursday May 9th or Thursday June 6th go to: http://www.stjamestheatre.co.uk.

I bagsied the window seat - besty sulking!

I'm on celebrity coach trip just for this week. http://www.channel4.com/programmes/coach-trip Omgd – I do a double act with new besty SANDRA DICKINSON. Have not seen any of it yet cos don't know how to set the vhs – but mostly I'm quite scared to see full on reality TV with possible mouth open shots of me eating and generally looking perplexed at other people.

Am not good on reality shows- I'm too open... (And I don’t mean that in rude way) just incompetence when it comes to doing strategies for voting off. I usually tell the person I’m going to vote them off first to be helpful. They are not always nice after that .

No it's not me talking to accountant, it's me acting...

Still performing in the play The Killing of Sister George. http://www.artstheatrewestend.co.uk/events/

I saw a small mouse scuttling away down the corridor.  I didn’t scream - just to be perverse - but told the rest of the cast about the sighting , adding that it was lucky to see a mouse on the tenth performance - theatre is steeped in tradition so got away with it.

Drinking four glasses of house white every night now – don’t know which house but it’s a pretty big one –a positive mansion of alcoholic units and calorific layers on the trunk.

Please come to play...Not begging but it finishes 29th October. I’ll be in the bar -

Well I have opened – no – not my own body which hopefully remains closed – I have opened in the play – ‘The Killing of Sister George’ at the Arts Theatre http://www.artstheatrewestend.co.uk/events/

Opening in this play meant that a red carpet appeared from nowhere and for one night was placed in the foyer for people to step on as they entered (it was removed for leaving)

I might have one in my own hall for everyday – so lush is the feeling

Opening Night! photo:wooller.com

Interesting that visits to the lavatory go hand in hand with opening nights and also following nights - So best not have a carton of veggie soup from Prêt a Manger as a sensible comfort food idea – I have since learned. Veg soup and nerves do not a picnic make.

Brought matches to put in the shared dressing room Loo for digestive times like these – the matches were a birthday present – a big box which says ‘ keep calm’ . (Fat chance.) I also send my flat mate Belinda Lang out for such times. She is not only a brilliant actress – but most accommodating about my need for a private moment.

I will not read any reviews in case there is meanness about me as there often is
– I might direct their complaint to the director and say he made me do it in a funny accent - or I may not since I’d quiet like to work with him again. (He directed ‘Broken Glass’ which got 5 stars )

Bought an upholstered bra specially for doing the play – which inspired a back stage exchange between us actresses of a certain age revealing one of us who is now a double G… odd that the alphabet and bra size seem so incongruous… but the older you get the more you double your letters – pity we don't double our money -but hey – who said art was fiscally rewarding …?

So off to tonight’s performance - must line my stomach with greaseproof paper this time.

Coming?

Coming Up

Looking forward to filming Ab Fab next week –wonder what clothes will be issued? –apparently Jennifer is well up on fashion so better not turn up to rehearse in over t shirt and flared jeans (wrong denim)

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/aug/29/absolutely-fabulous-prescient-ab-fab

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2030549/Crack-open-Bolly-Ab-Fab-Eddy-Patsy-shopping-storm-filming-Christmas-special.html

I am then in a play called The Killing Of Sister George at www.artstheatrewestend.co.uk – which will be nice. A bit like The Archers but with Lezbianz (I think) haven’t started yet –can’t wait - AND nice actresses in it hurrah