Two festivals in search of an author

Just back from two festivals in Hay on Wye where the addled brain has been flossed by these gentlemen below

Rob Cowan,(journalist who shared my cab (£50) ) Gabriel Gbadamosi (brainy chair of my debate). Rob’s good looking mate, who is in the military, and I spoke on a platform seated on a very cosy chintz chair at HowTheLightGetsIn Festival (The title comes from Leonard Cohen but I didn’t know that and it didn’t stop me from attending).

The venue for the lovely event, Globe Hall, had an old pulpit at one end and filmed footage of the sea to look at on the side wall if one's mind dared to wander. Mine was firmly gripped into place as I had to offer views on ‘In an age of self publishing how essential is writing to individuality?’ among other punishing conundrums.

Then there was cider in huge great bottles that were handed over the bar top as if they were bottles of wine. 'All for moi?' I asked, before anyone could say ‘No they have to be shared you greedy old person’ and the afternoon tipped by in a rainy haze of other intelligent people watching.

The folk who turned out to my talk at the Hay Festival were consistently smiley with a lot of rain wear between them but at least there were a few questions – and not just about where I got my highlights done. I like to be interactive when it’s a small crowd and ask questions. One bright attendee suggested that ‘paedophile’ might be a suitable suggestion for a three syllable word which although correct, was a surprise. I thanked her and moved on. Always nice to get ‘input’ from the floor.

This is me trying to look like Joanna Trollope at my book signing  

And this is me not looking like her at all  

I have shifted a bit of merchandise – a few less copies of Finger Food left on Amazon now

A sign about a sign

This is me with a young poet Luke Wright who has an ironic look about him - we are signalling something implied to be in keeping with the philosophy of ideas theme 

Preparing for my WI talk somewhere in Manchester next.  Wonder if I’ll get scones? I bloody hope so

Showbiz Week

Show biz week for me and my two black jackets – first some free loading at The Orange Prize for female fiction. I was a judge last year which justified my guiltless speed at making the beeline for waiters to fill up my Glass from VERY LARGE bottles of REAL champagne

I arrived with Paul Burston and Dianne Connell – both very talented writers. Dianne and I spilled champagne over Paul at different points of the party – giving him time to dry in between. Dianne smashed a glass and two women moved away. Horrified.

 The winner’s novel by Madeline Miller was a ‘fusion of myth and a love story’ – which excites me – similar to last year’s winner The Tiger's Wife which I like to think is down to me personally. Although so far I haven’t been thanked.

 After several refills I found that joining in other people's conversations was not necessarily the way to go. Well one conversation in particular – trouble is when squiffy, one's brain works faster than one's lips –so one is left stumbling over a sentence when one's brain has already left the room - and the party. You’d think I’d have learned that by now- but what makes life so exciting is that some lessons cannot be learned in a life time

GROUCHO QUIZ NIGHT
As documented - I own two black jackets - both are very similar in the sense they are both black but I wore the other one to the Grouch Quiz hosted by Stephen Fry. He rightly warned against the use of mobile phones – any table found transgressing was to be disqualified and very possibly black listed. For ever.

Victoria Wood answered most questions and what’s more they were correct. I answered the least. I was the eye candy I told them.

 Next week I go to Hay on Wye. http://helenlederer.co.uk/Helen/Hay.html The HOWTHELIGHTGETSIN FESITVAL is very groovy apparently Web: www.iai.tv howthelightgetsin.org Twitter: @HTLGIFestival

 I’m on Thursday 7 June 2.30 at the Globe Venue (MAYBE IM IN A BIG TEEPEE?) I will be on a panel discussing the role of the author and he similitude of the internet. It may not be the similitude but these are the types of words I may employ at different times – it being festival of philosophy and ideas.

 Then on Saturday 9 June at 9 AM!!! so top spot timing wise as you can see - I will be having a chat with lovely poet and publisher, Kathryn Gray
http://www.parthianbooks.com/ twitter.com/parthianbooks …. All about ME ME ME Helen Lederer talks to Kathryn Gray, Saturday 9 June 2012, 9am • Venue: Llwyfan Cymru - Wales Stage 'The comedian, author of Coping with Helen Lederer and Single Minding discusses her new Quick Reads story - A Comedy of Ambition, Dreams, Treachery and Daytime Television' Event Website: http://www.hayfestival.com/

Looking back at a bit of work – but there’s always HAY on WYE

Apparently ‘they’ are commissioning sitcoms – clearly not mine – so to comfort myself I was pleased to travel up to the all new ‘Media City’ in Manchester to be an actress for three days in a BBC Radio play called ‘Higher’.

 What is the new BBC building like? Well, the same joke was offered by quite a few local user groups – it goes like this “Welcome to Stanstead”

The repetition made me feel that the actors might be suggesting the new building simulated an airport? But I couldn’t be sure. Certainly lime green chairs in the coffee bar area would not be out of place near an aircraft holding bay. I bumped into a nice welsh man – Alex Winters - who does Cbeebies and he told me there had been a piece of art set in the reception for a few weeks - but it had gone. Shame. I like a bit of art in an empty space. Because then you can say the space is there to set off the art - without the art the space is... well just very spacious in a pure sort of way. Pure except for the Pyrex barriers that garrotte you if you forget your BBC pass and sometimes if you don’t.

 3 days of radio acting without line learning is my idea of bliss. I stayed in the hotel next door – the ‘Holiday Inn cum Groucho Club to host visiting guests on BBC Breakfast TV’ – Jon Cooper Clark joined my seating group and we made merry. He has a very wide vocabulary and I told him so.

 Friday was spent in Cardiff visiting a heritage site. My Cadw guide had emailed ahead to suggest the wearing of sensible foot wear. I must have been boiling the kettle at that bit- as I appeared to be wearing my best stage wedge suede black ones. Found myself gamely walking over a deeply muddy field of bullocks and clambering over several complex built styles to get to a lovely castle with a man I’d only just met. Luckily I’m trained - I can change in lavatories, sing (badly) without any sheet music and deal with silences

Me outside Old Beaupre Castle, not far from Cowbridge

I am getting very excited about appearing at The Hay Festival and the How the Light Gets In Festival.

My first turn is where I will join a discussion about this: ‘In an age of self publishing and writers' workshops, the idea that we all have a novel inside of us has become commonplace. But how essential is writing to individuality? Has the internet facilitated one of our most deep-rooted desires, or has it opened up the false hope of a readership, a performance without meaning?’ Wowsa!
Six Billion Authors in Seach of an Audience Thursday 7th June, 2.30pm, Globe Hall.
Caroline Smailes, Helen Lederer, Ewan Morrison, Scott Pack. Gabriel Gbadamosi chairs. Here's the event website: http://www.howthelightgetsin.org/
As long as I get to moan about agents, the media, and innuendo on panel games - I’m sure I’ll get a biscuit after.
The 2nd appearance is at the OTHER Hay Festival next door - talking about ‘Finger Food’ my book for ‘Quick Reads’ to Kathryn Gray

Helen Lederer talks to Kathryn Gray,  Saturday 9 June 2012, 9am • Venue: Llwyfan Cymru - Wales Stage
'The comedian, author of Coping with Helen Lederer and Single Minding discusses her new Quick Reads story - A Comedy of Ambition, Dreams, Treachery and Daytime Television'

Event Website: http://www.hayfestival.com/

Then I get to hang about for three whole days – anyone know of any Hay on Wye –ish parties ? If so I will collect the boots back from the cleaners to bring with and network like crazy.