Wednesday, 16 October 2013

The St James Theatre asked me back to do two more nights on November 7th and November 28th.

Naturally I was flattered, so I said ‘yes’ but not having the personnel of most modern comedians – (agent, manager, carer, driver and product provider) I’ve been drawn to crowd funding. If it works, I might be asking you to crowd fund me a modest flat in Byranston Square as well - but for now it’s just for the show thanks
I’ve got wonderful Suzanne Moore and Yasmin Alibhai-Brown on 7th Nov. Beyond excited.

I was sent a ‘mind map’ to explain the crowd funding ethos which triggered a dizzy spell. Before saying ‘yes’ to this excitement I resumed my role as Miss Bowline-Hitch for CBeebies with Bernard Cribbins playing the man.

Also played a cameo (more than five lines, less than 5000) on a trendy film called ‘Chicken’ directed by Joe Stephenson
Talented actor, Scott Chambers, being bloodied up

And another cameo in Channel 4’s Hollyoaks which is out Monday Oct 21. It’s a very controversial storyline so simply mustn’t speak of it. I can share this pic though but don’t show it to anyone in case I get sent to Coventry for boasting

With lovely Alex Fletcher
Been having subsidence, so builders were in banging a lot – they found my testosterone gel in the fridge (it goes off once you’ve opened it) – Thankfully didn’t squeeze it over their lunch baps.

Tuesday, 23 July 2013

Rich, varied and tragic

To be invited to comment about the individuals who have volunteered themselves to be encased in a televised Orwellian construct is surely too good an opportunity to pass up? I enjoy taking part in the earnest validation of this pop-up community – as we ponder over who said what to whom and also if they are 'playing a game'. I put it to you that they are.

Peeking in on 'camera run' in 'the house' as it's called

An unexpected thrill came last week when I was invited to peer into the studio and comment on live action. Sadly I couldn’t spot any. Only a dead cat which turned out to be a grey sodden towel lying inert.

I learned of the untimely death of Mel Smith – when a BBC news chap called me up and asked me to comment. I wasn’t a close friend but I was a true fan and swung into action to offer my thoughts on 80 and 90s comedy. I auditioned for Mel once but decided that wasn’t in the public interest (I didn’t get it)

I was then invited to give my thoughts on LBC. Also BBC Breakfast TV news where you have to put an ear piece in and look thoroughly composed when it's your turn.  And then to Radio Five live. Tragically I left my phone at home and was in the pub when I realised I was supposed to be doing the interview. I’m sorry Mel. But I know you understand and RIP

So here’s to laughing...

Tributes to Mel Smith from BBC News

Tuesday, 18 June 2013

You had to be there

Bought in a flea market. yeah well…
Back from a Parador in Spain.  Paradors are posh, state-run suntraps for slightly older people.  Camped on a day bed which was not overlooked (except by seagulls who reluctantly allowed me to share their communal toilet area) and decided nudey sunbathing with no speaking to be the perfect antidote after mounting the wtf show, which I’m told will now find a place in Edinburgh! Gawd. The last time I took part in The Edinburgh festival I cried. But then, I always cry in Edinburgh, be it from a review or from thrush – it’s a toxic place - aw memory lane….

The Seagull

Just saw a bit of press about my show: I loved my two guests, Michael Crick and Mark Lawson, with a passion and found them to be two charming and dedicated individuals – so I do hope the attendant press coverage didn’t offend them. I am red from embarrassment. Witty and clever people like these make witty and clever conversations, visiting the joke format with repartee, complicit exaggeration, rhetoric, sarcasm, irony and brilliant humility - which is why I was so lucky to have Michael and Mark – any quote taken out of this context is ... Well it's like explaining to your granny that wearing a tee shirt stating ‘shit happens’ isn’t swearing – but some newspapers refuse to attend the same party.

Am choosing to see the off field coverage as a punctuation point about column inches rather than on site reportage (she said rhetorically)

This says it in a far more accurate manner

Sunday, 9 June 2013

Am turning into a slight politico journo groupie: slight shame I wore the wrong bra but there’s so much to think about - under wiring bust dressage is the last thing to get right on the day of a gig. This pic would not look out of place in The National Portrait Gallery – and I have told them this.

Michael Crick and Mark Lawson smiling lightly
Here I am with M and M looking a touch like Jenni Murray in blonde wig – but oh how I enjoyed. 

My band became like my sons (only more attractive) and my guests became projections of all the bright clever males I’ve ever wanted to do stuff with. The words in the song of the great Victoria  Wood weirdly came into my head as we were discussing creationism  ‘bend me over backwards with the hostess trolley’

I don’t think anyone else is doing this kind of work? – If there is a gap in the market my girth is more than ample to fill it

Writer will be away for a few days not drinking or eating white bread due to shocking over reveal of some of the show photos - not included here   

Thursday, 23 May 2013

First WTF Show

First WTF show – It did the biz

Huge anticipation about stepping out on stage after a moribund period of activities including hypnosis, eating and not buying clothes. Would I make a mistake?

Yes. but the shiny DB COHEN house band more than made up for it with three male horns, gorgeous drummer, enigmatic guitarist and lead songwriter Dan Cohen - I felt I was at Glastonbury with wedges.

Mark Lawson turned out to be a winning guest - by affording serious consideration to my highly researched questions – would he marry an Eskimo for instance? Which I felt raised the bar. Mark is coming back by popular demand on June 6th. Tom Daley would have joined and sends his love but is revising. Alan Yentob sends his apologies but is travelling and Suzanne Moore could only do it earlier damn damn. But watch this space – a third guest chair is being wiped in readiness.

I did this gig for water aid in Harrogate –( Helen Lederer, speaking on behalf of WaterAid - YouTube WaterAid works specifically on the WASH crisis: water, sanitation and hygiene. Their vision is of ... ) and having looked at the footage I seem to be all hair and glasses –with a few jokes – but hey …I love Water Aid. And I got given a paperweight.

Have popped up in Psychologies Magazine and have revealed a teasing swimwear preview.

Hannah in Some Girls (BBC3)
Took advantage of my girl being away filming Some Girls BBC 3 (jealous not proud) to clean her very small bathroom with moistened wipes then I felt guilty and put some rubbish back in the fragrantly lined mini bin.

Back to WTF...Some clean theatre seats have been bought by kind strangers already - it’s a small theatre so you might want to book. It’s June 6 Your call.
For tickets:

Monday, 6 May 2013

No turning back

The new try out show is nigh

It’s going to happen this Thursday. A few windows of public display behaviour have been afforded: here I am nursing my home-made cushion in the “Sunday Express afternoon trivia” section.  I decided to come out about the cushion sublimating interest - which fortunately is very apposite to the show – since WTF  tries to nail what is meaningful. Excited? (There will be a joke at the top of the show as well)   

Great excitement at Channel 4’s ‘What’s Cooking?’ on Friday.    

Deep  gossip in Green Room with hot actor Sean Maguire – the more you talk to him the more you realise he’s done amazing stuff only he doesn’t say it in the first few secs.  Just about managed to hold back giving him my card and asking him to do a  swapsie with his agent's details in LA. (But only just) Emma Kennedy is a heroine - clever funny with a nice skirt – while being tasked with creating an emergency meal in ten minutes (as oft happens.) Her emergency sandwich got my maximum vote, which I’m pleased to report pushed her to the top of the leader board. Top Gear with garlic.

whatscookingtv What's Cooking? 3 May

It’s been confirmed Mark Lawson is my First Guest on Thursday 9th  - Omyword. I have bought a proud blue plastic clipboard out of respect. Gravitas is needed with such an intellect.

Didn’t manage to loose the two stone I’d planned for the first stage appearance due to a sudden sandwich surge during rehearsals – so will not be sporting the Joan Rivers diamante comedy silhouette. (Keeping it real)   DB COHEN are my new house band (not husband) yet. Top sound 

See you on Thurs 9th or if you have something on that night - there’s June 6th  


Friday, 5 April 2013

Slightly heightened time so must share.

Writing the new WTF? show and asking followers to contribute their view as to what is the point of life - so I can reflect a true barometer of passion. Followers have been generous with revelations about what is meaningful - so far the majority have cited their children and husband so while I try not to look too surprised at this laudable display of meaning, I’m keeping back my own passion – cushions - for the show.  Sorry so very sorry.

Scoured the TV version of Comic Relief does the Great British Banquet and for a nano second caught this smiley chubbed-up face on camera – eating and not talking with mouth full which was perhaps
for the best

In a fleeting pic at the Comic Relief Great British Banquet

And now to the most exciting reveal: MY SWIM WEAR RANGE (I KNOW!)  For those who wish to hide the tum tum and nether area with lace trim and discreet netting I AM YOUR WOMAN

Here is an exciting preview –I actually felt the burn when my silver, and lace and ELASTIC all came together in one glorious hugga-body-cossie You saw it here - from a woman who truly knows what it’s like to have a camera up her Jacksie on a diving board. I said to the camera man, ‘I don’t want any beaver shot!”  He replied, ‘None will be.’