Friday, 30 September 2011

Ab fab and bits on the side

Completed my AB FAB episode – am now besties with Lulu I do hope – LOVE her hair. Would have asked for the name of her hair dye if I’d thought, but was too busy remembering my lines. How does she do it? I must copy

Kirsty Walk playing herself – (not with) which is a feat in itself –listen if I could play myself I’d be the success I’d always wanted to be –but shyness always kicks in dam it.

Now then – A BIG segue into youth culture. I was invited on to Big Brother’s Bit On The Side – I got to sit between two much younger women with shiny beige corrective shoes and competing false eyelashes (both were very generous – the eyelashes) I felt like I was their Nan. I sensed they did too.

As I was required to comment on the latest ‘goings on’ in the house (studio) I made it my business to watch avidly the proper BIG BROTHER for authenticity (in between rehearsing as a lesbian fortune teller in ‘Killing of Sister George’) . Trouble was I called the STORE CUPBOARD – THE FRIDGE! I know! Everyone stared at me as if I’d said ‘plop’ (someone had mentioned fisting earlier so I felt I was safe). Then clever Emma Willis deciphered I was referring to the "store room" where I’d noticed a heinous crime occurring between the now ejected Rebekka (spelt with quite a few K’s) who had whistle blown on those Ferrals who ate biscuits: HOW DARE THEY? I loved it – am going back

• My birthday – I fell twice. Man on drugs made a play – yes I can still pull – (if people have taken artificial stimulants )

This man was not  the man on drugs but he was wearing a  hat. Name of Paul Burston ( writer)

A week to go before we DO IT. Am so scared I can hardly type.
Meera Syal , Belinda Lang, Lilly Cadwallader are all proper good actresses
Does anyone know it’s on? It’s that nice pretty red seated little theatre in Newport Street which I count as WEST END. YOU COMING?

Friday, 16 September 2011

All of this is true

Was asked by TIME OUT to cite my top film – the moment you’ve pick one – you think of loads more don’t you like ‘the wicker man’ with Edward Woodward –or ‘straw dogs’ if one is sticking with the hay theme

Omigod this week! two new jobs back to back –very exhausting trying to make new people like you – made one relaxed joke today about men and sperm that got a laugh – so maybe I’ve turned the corner

The ABFAB rehearsing week has been colourful... Baby Spice arrives – I luvs her I hold her hand for a long time – Lulu arrives –teeny, white trousers and gorgeous hair –amazingly calm and cheery for someone whose on that dancy dancy show as well - Lindsay Duncan amazing actress- and soooo normal so I start rabbiting on about clothes- and my gorgeous Jane Horrocks ( genius) who makes me talk about fabrics - And this is in the first ten minutes… don’t know if I’m coming or going

I’m going –cos I have to moonlight over to rehearse with more scarily good actresses for Killing of Sister George at The Arts Theatre – where we share the varying agendas of sexuality,  politics and minority groups….much coffee

Then a book launch - Isabel Wolff’s new book ( Bought one. Free champagne and even more brainy people ..oh nooooo. Got drunk this time. A bright young woman asked to be taken away from me by her mother. I don’t blame her.

Time Out Article:
Killing of Sister George:5th to 29th October Box Office 0207 907 7092 Open Mon-Sun 9am to 8pm (excluding public holidays)

Friday, 9 September 2011

Coming Up

Looking forward to filming Ab Fab next week –wonder what clothes will be issued? –apparently Jennifer is well up on fashion so better not turn up to rehearse in over t shirt and flared jeans (wrong denim)

I am then in a play called The Killing Of Sister George at – which will be nice. A bit like The Archers but with Lezbianz (I think) haven’t started yet –can’t wait - AND nice actresses in it hurrah

Thursday, 8 September 2011

PJs and Recovery Position

Am in recovery which is better than being in a ditch (or losing a diamond)

Did two trips up to Edinburgh this year: only a mad woman (or myself) would consider doing a try out show in Edinburgh with publicity when they had only done it once before…

You can see where I’m going I expect – well my first try out was at the Tabbard Theatre and very well it went – maybe it was the adrenalin or the fact it wasn’t Edinburgh with publicity, but I almost enjoyed it and if I forgot things (which I did) it didn’t seem to matter.

Fast forward to Edinburgh and imagine the scene. I’m in a cosy bunker – (great for some –like Kevin Orkian -v good ) it is full, there are not enough seats but chairs are being found (a bit like in a church hall) and my flip chart and screen (props I kind of need) can’t be seen by all the audience cos it’s not theatre and some people said they couldn’t hear.  Add to that there was a rather handsome pillar directly in front of me...

So er note to self -sort of have a look at the venue before you do show…on the other hand would that have stopped me? – we all love being asked to come up to Edinburgh don’t we? I patently did.

Anyway, my show was on late (and I must have been rambling) and my pal David Langham who was helping me had to hold up a note which said “wind up now!” Sadly, I couldn’t see said note without my glasses so had to put them on to read the note to tell me to get off…

So let’s hope my next appointment with comedy fares better –I’m actually doing it in a theatre!! Shock! Yes on 1st October at the Kenneth Moore Theatre –– info should be on their website soon.   At least there won’t be a pillar. Note to self – remember jokes.

On Stage at the Edinburgh Festival

Politics festival next:  Well, slightly smarting from a long mail of complaint received on my website about the Edinburgh gig ( I’d disappointed someone and I fear very possibly ruined his whole Edinburgh apparently due to my poor contribution) I ventured forth to see if I might disappoint any more folk but this time by looking into the role of satire within our political canvas.  Sure enough there was a cross gent in the audience in the Scottish parliament who expressed his right to be disappointed – I can only offer my sympathy – listen mate I'm disappointed,  we’re all Disappointed but we've got to carry on somehow.

I carried on. Stayed up to the wee hours with a nice professor Stephen Fielding and a funny writer Tim Telling which was the best bit

Am now in PJ’s on a writing binge. Did 12 hours yesterday - a record - am writing a novella for people with the reading age of 12 which is quite tricky to second guess –you can’t do too many three syllable words. Does than include consummate and consommé ?