Thursday, 30 June 2011

Alarm Bells

You find me slightly downcast.

I said yes to doing an evening with … SHOW in Edinburgh where people can CHOOSE to come and see me. Or not. This means I must say something for at least an hour. I must also write, practice and learn it.

Tweeted a comedy GIANT, Richard Herring, who has been doing more try out gigs than hot baths – he is a swot.  I on the other hand am not. Could be the new hoodia pills I’ve been taking because no one will give me any thyroid pills. Makes me drive over humps aggressively and say Oh God when people elect to cross the road when I’m waiting in my car to do the same.

Before I worry about Bums on seats i.e. will they be facing the right way - I must go to Wales do a reality show. Seven days of sleeping with other people and sharing latrines. Jealous?

Went into Fenwick’s to buy some pyjamas – no purchase made – either figure hugging with rouched sleeves or massive Hessian stripes. Will have to fashion an old nightshirt with under leggings.

Helen is appearing in at the Edinburgh Festival 21st Aug at 9.45pm‘An Evening with Helen Lederer’ SpaceCabaret @ 54 (V54) - Carlton Hotel, Northbridge Tickets £15 & £12 (concessions) Box Office 08455576309

Monday, 27 June 2011

Drinks for High Jinks

Here are some highlights of the wine article this month - it IS a stretch sampling alcohol by the computer (as I still call it) - but it's also festive and keeps me in stamps for the month. When I don’t have a wine column deadline, my desk is littered with carrots, coke and kelp - a new pash which may increase my metabolism to make me ten stone (I'm really fat now so reaching just a bit fat would be a plus).  I am prepping for 'one night at Edinburgh Festival' and already fearing that thing where people look at me and will know I bought a Monsoon over shift shirt at the airport.  I just tried on a pair of jeans after three years of elasticated skirts in lace - £250 plus - I asked the girl to repeat the price. She did. I left.

"I’m not showing off or anything, but I’ve had an intense month! What’s more, I’m prepared to share some of the highs, namely the most stunning way to drink Tanqueray No. Ten… with a cute little elderflower liqueur. The cocktail I’m referencing is The 51, served at the rather super 51 Buckingham Gate, SW1E." Read full article...
From Living South

Tuesday, 21 June 2011

Ymerodraeth State Of Mind

I’d like to suggest this is a picture of me hung in the National Portrait Gallery doing Carmen at Glynbourne.

In fact it’s me doing an amusing pastiche (one verse only – the other singers are more familiar with the words – fair enough) in my back garden for a piss take of a pop song (with a similar name but not with the Ymerodraeth word in it) – but hey, if that’s the only way to get on Comic Relief then I’m in. Listen - if you get the call from them –it leads to all kinds of spin offs -Super Injunctions, a strand on The One Show trying not to do thigh touching with Giles Brandreth - or signed up for Panto which I’ve already done thank you – twice. And no I’m not bitter –cos I’ll be at the RSC this Xmas (me being nasty and no I’m not sorry).

Notice I’m the only one talking about the Welsh Comic Relief thing now – because I’m getting rather big in Wales.

I say this because I’m revving up for a top secret REALITY SHOW in July where I have to put on a WET SUIT - not all the time – I also have to remember to take my spanx, my glasses, my asthma spray but no valuables … I must also mix nicely with other WELSH CELEBRITIES and not get competitive at all….. I know it’s not the jungle – but I like to be more trail blazing than eating testes and other irritants. Bitter? Not me dears.

Tuesday, 14 June 2011

Miss Marple

So I am in ITV’s Miss Marple tomorrow..great excitement - except once you tell people you’re in it they think you’ll be in every episode NO NO NO –I’m at the beginning eating a slice of cake saying ‘More tea, Jane’ …at least I think that’s me – unless they edited that bit out ...

A very clever episode written by Patrick Barlow called ‘Why didn’t they ask Evans?’ – and economic use of my acting skills so as not to spoil the public for when I’m in Midsommer Murders spelt, Midsommer and also perhaps a ‘Lewis’ where I play the village eccentric or a druid perhaps.

Standing by for the call…

Monday, 13 June 2011

Here's Me, Talking about The Orange Prize

Click here to watch the video

am sounding alarmingly worthy and full of pauses  here -which must be due to a)an extradopnary amount of alcohol  or b) showing off

Orange judging an intense experience increasing my vocabulary and spread of buttocks flesh as I sat in my reading chair to consume 55 books. Worth every second. Tricky to see the novelists who didn’t make the long list or the short list at the 'do'  and who probably hate me personally-but we all fought for our books of choice so we did.

Wednesday, 8 June 2011

Wouldn't mind one of those, hey...

I've just been sent some lovely photos of an awards ceremony I did on the best of yachts in the world (Italy and Portsmouth as it turned out). Amazing to meet people who just design yachts and taps for yachts and also water features (for yachts). Soon beacme yacht aware and chose my fave. I came home as usual with loads of business cards but can’t match the card with the name of the person who will give me more work/free samples/confidence. Must drink less after my speech.