It was the quietest day of my life- I heard a fly give up and that’s without my spray which I keep handy on my desk…

However I did find out the most AMAZING coincidence –wait for this … Jenny Éclair and I have the same OVEN!!! I KNOW

How did I find this out? My man who came to fix it for the 2nd times said ‘oee I’ve just come from jenny éclairs house’ – so I cleverly deduced as he is an oven specialist….. Enough said

I decided not to probe what was the cause of her malfunction but suffice it to say we must both have been writing in our houses with our scrunchies in our day wear... he said we were both ‘down to earth’ which means we were both in our scrunchies and day wear etc …

Hard I know to belief that creative people have ovens that they put things in from time to time – but even Evelyn Waugh had a baby belling

Here's Me, Talking about The Orange Prize

Click here to watch the video

am sounding alarmingly worthy and full of pauses  here -which must be due to a)an extradopnary amount of alcohol  or b) showing off

Orange judging an intense experience increasing my vocabulary and spread of buttocks flesh as I sat in my reading chair to consume 55 books. Worth every second. Tricky to see the novelists who didn’t make the long list or the short list at the 'do'  and who probably hate me personally-but we all fought for our books of choice so we did.

Meetings, Lovely Meetings

More meetings! Had to type out a list so I don’t get confused. I always wear the same - white top and black skirt – a bit like a waitress - well I am here to serve. Yesterday’s meeting was outside in a draft at Jamie’s Kitchen. It seems all those people having their Italian lemonade cans work at the BBC - they go there to get out of their own building. I would pay to work IN it.

Dangerously near Debenhams but I resisted on the way to the tube. I lied. I did not want to shop. No money and probably no development deal. They liked the ‘precinct’ but Paula Milne is writing something in a similar precinct. You know what? Paula, please step off my precinct?