Got up right early on sat to beaver across to Sky TV studios for the privilege of reviewing the papers. 

However the lure and urgent need of mascara, foundation and socket line applied by a make up professional came first - leaving me with NO TIME to read the 4 stories I was expected to select and then review.

A very nice but anxious researcher hovered while my socket lines were addressed before offering (through only slightly clenched teeth) to choose the stories for me? Well I’d only just sat down and I wanted to choose my own stories thank you. The make up girl hovered with her sponge mid air – ‘Ok then you choose ‘em then,’ I reluctantly caved in – but not really wanting to do the ‘Mousetrap on tour’ if I’m being truthful.  

Worse to come – we  were about to go on air – radio pack  now firmly tucked in my pants  by a scurrying radio person who seemed to be doubling up as an everything else person saying cheerily “what else can go wrong this morning”  while I’m chasing the researcher  for the photocopies of the selected stories she’d selected   (she’d gone off with the top copies ) before I practically  snatched two of them out of her hands and dashed off to the sofa. 

A nice man journo  from The Express Michael Booker mercifully was doing  the papers as well and  - having avoided  all the shortbread  in the green room I noticed unlike me  -  offered to bale me out should push come to shove. It did.

Michael did his first story (properly) and then  the presenter  turned to me and said “and what’s your view of the strike, Helen?” Well that hadn’t officially  been my story  had it - but I mustered a response ‘Yes definitely’ I said  and waited for the subject to move on to the Mousetrap. It didn’t – The nice presenter swiftly moved to the story I hadn’t read since it hadn’t yet been photocopied about a son stealing money from his Mum to buy a house. I lamely said ‘well it's always a tricky one when a son steals from his mother isn’t it?” The stable and kind presenter did closure by saying ‘and of course there’s more info on that story that we haven’t time for…’

However for the second paper review slot me and Mike (I call him Mike now) cosied  up to share views about the plethora of ‘perfect Christmas countdown chef instructions’ across all the red tops by varyingly rich TV chefs.

Mike  was sure that in his office real men didn’t like to cook the turkey for more than two hours (controversial)  –  and as we  continued to debate this topic  in the studio together as a team I felt I had finally arrived  

I do hope I’ll be asked back  - I  felt I brought something  to the table…

Next week will be at the screening of the recent  Ab Fab  shows -  unfortunately I have had my fringe cut too short –  and it’s SO scary to attend anything glam with a short fringe – but  nevertheless doable  for  free fiz. 

More Photos from S4C Cariad@Iaith:Love4Language

Tweet your captions to me @HelenLederer and I'll feature the best ones on this blog!

"You said watch the birdy, but that's DEFINITELY not a birdy you've got out there..."

"Helen certainly didn't expect her dessert to be delivered on all fours"

Lots more photos on the Cariad@Iaith:Love4Language facebook page! Guess who's wearing stripy tights

My return to Big Brother Bit on the Side  (Vanessa Feltz was double booked opening a ski run) required being a judge of artwork of the contestants. All of them drew a pair of eyes.  I wondered if they could draw other body parts as well? Then decided best not encourage... Sex food and body emissions are not best represented in crayon on card.

On Big Brother's Bit on the Side

My return trip to Wales for Cariad@Iaith:Love4Language out on Christmas Eve required being part of a house party in Laugharne where all the walls were painted in Farrow and Ball or ‘Farrow and Brown’ as my friend Melanie stated firmly (I let it go but only because she’s famous and play’s someone’s Mum in ‘Gavin and Stacey’) – we made mince pies in Welsh and sang about them in Welsh to keep the focus on us rather than the pies - then on the last night we listened to Lowri Evans' beautiful voice (I bought her CD and then left it there) and I morphed into a drunk free and single girl swaying to the music, shouting (in Welsh) and flirting in that way only older people do when they think they are in a house party away from home. Nothing happened and I missed the charades. Trying to persuade S4Cariad that an Easter reunion would make great viewing.

Me and Mel Waters (famous welsh actress in Gavin and Stacey)  walking in matching
 warm coats to see Dylon Thomas’s boathouse . It was locked.

I'm in awe of this man -which is why as you can see I'm
 wearing a false nose so he won't be too attracted

My plate is clean so now considering carpet

Error, Error

http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2011/oct/21/helen-lederer-my-greatest-mistake?newsfeed=true

With Meera Syal in The Killing of Sister George. Photo:Donald Cooper

Whoops got asked to share my mistakes – where to start?
My most recent one apart from the superbly penned article above was last night.

I had been invited by Tim McArthur to go to the Jermyn Street Theatre where he is a nun to be interviewed and - I assume - manage to appear coherent in an engaging manner.


http://www.jermynstreettheatre.co.uk/whatson.html#sundaysandmondaysatjermynstreet

This would be after I finished the second show at The Arts Theatre (matinees on thur) – instead I downed some tumblers (four) of The Arts Theatre's house white with some other kind looking faces (also holding tumblers) and got wasted... Managed to text an apology to Tim – looked at the sent text today and it was just a jumble of letters - no words… am not proud of my irresponsible behaviour but I accept we all make mistakes and I’m moving on.  Just hope he is …

Here is a pic of me I call ‘Naked with bra straps, a duvet and pants’ taken by a very famous man Andrea Vecchiato. All for good cause - a charity calendar.

Off to film in Wales next week. The requirements are walking boots and a rainproof... am a little alarmed. Will have to borrow some ‘glamping Glastonbury poncho wear’ now

I bagsied the window seat - besty sulking!

I'm on celebrity coach trip just for this week. http://www.channel4.com/programmes/coach-trip Omgd – I do a double act with new besty SANDRA DICKINSON. Have not seen any of it yet cos don't know how to set the vhs – but mostly I'm quite scared to see full on reality TV with possible mouth open shots of me eating and generally looking perplexed at other people.

Am not good on reality shows- I'm too open... (And I don’t mean that in rude way) just incompetence when it comes to doing strategies for voting off. I usually tell the person I’m going to vote them off first to be helpful. They are not always nice after that .

No it's not me talking to accountant, it's me acting...

Still performing in the play The Killing of Sister George. http://www.artstheatrewestend.co.uk/events/

I saw a small mouse scuttling away down the corridor.  I didn’t scream - just to be perverse - but told the rest of the cast about the sighting , adding that it was lucky to see a mouse on the tenth performance - theatre is steeped in tradition so got away with it.

Drinking four glasses of house white every night now – don’t know which house but it’s a pretty big one –a positive mansion of alcoholic units and calorific layers on the trunk.

Please come to play...Not begging but it finishes 29th October. I’ll be in the bar -

Omigod omigod omigod

not my best side!

Finally get to do some publicity re the play Killing of Sister George –last minute request at theatre last night to come in to BBC Breakfast TV and talk about the play and being in the new Ab Fab.

Jane Horrocks came to see the play and I had a late night. Due to phobia can’t know who is in so would have been churlish to just go home since she took the trouble to sit and watch.


I arrived at the BBC building crack of dawn but not as early as the rest- had sensationally amusing chat with make up person and the nice sports man who won strictly come dancing two years ago and then suddenly found myself on the red sofa with Lovely Bill and Gorgeous Sian and I felt so cosy and relaxed I just wanted to sit there and curl up for a comfy snooze and maybe tops - a general exchange of cosy tittle tattle. I sensed that wasn’t quite right, but by then my brain had gone blank and I committed THE SIN – which is not mentioning my fellow actresses’ names Meera Syal, Belinda Lang and Liz Cadwallader (all of them are superb)


OMIGOD I am soo ashamed. Couldn’t focus about why I was there at all – nor could I remember data about the very interesting play I’m in written by Frank Marcus.


I have two shows to do today!!

And a man on twitter called the interview with me ‘car crash TV’ Nice.

One good thing… My pal Belinda Lang said ‘chimed’ on the Mathew Wright show cos I told her to. Beginning to feel empowered. But only slightly.

Yesterday On the Radio

Had to drive through two important protests (one being re nhs cuts-) yesterday to get to Broadcasting House to do BBC London with Jeni Barnett - talked about death, cup size and dancing on pole (her gag) do listen if you are having a tea break

Here's the link on iPlayer:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p00klj08/Jeni_Barnett_09_10_2011/